Breakups are painful. The end of a relationship brings feelings of grief, sadness, rage, and loneliness, no matter how it happens. Julia and I believe a more constructive question for those considering ending a relationship is this: How can I honor the humanity and dignity of the other person while letting them know I want to end things?

Boundaries exist both within the family system and between the family system and the outside world. Some values are communicated clearly, but most family rules are covert and can be contradictory over time. Covert communication of family rules includes nonverbal cues, the pace of speech between family members, and who speaks when.

In Evangelical communities, marriage is a rite of passage into adulthood, as well as the only socially-sanctioned context for sexuality. Marriage also serves as a way to get closer to God; a man marries a woman like Christ marries the church (his bride).

A huge part of our work as relationship therapists is understanding how couples navigate transitions. Jay Haley, renowned family therapist, observed that most psychological problems arise from difficulties in effectively transitioning between life stages.

At the risk of oversimplification, as relationship therapists, here are four types of transitions that couples will face.

Many survivors of Purity Culture often exhibit symptoms resembling PTSD, including intrusive memories and avoidance behaviors. In a recent discussion with Maddie Upson, our Marketing and Communications Coordinator, giving oneself permission to be angry can be a helpful way to navigate and process the pain and injustice connected with Purity Culture.

The Biden-Trump debate was a domestic abuse session.

Although commonly linked with the white Evangelical movement of the early 90s, Purity Culture has significantly impacted multiple generations of Americans. It has enforced strict gender roles and sexual norms and influenced public policy through government-funded abstinence education; one didn’t have to grow up in a religious community to feel its influence.

This week on Sexvangelicals, we interviewed Sarah Stankorb, author of Disobedient Women. Sarah gathers the stories of women abused by members and leadership structures of Evangelical religious groups, and explores how the camaraderie of online spaces helped survivors cognitively recognize the injustices that they were subjected to, and access the anger necessary to grieve their experiences.

Communities utilize specific language to form identities and norms. We examine language's role in fostering spiritual abuse and present deconstruction practices to counteract these linguistic patterns. Discover the importance of defining terms, citing sources, and engaging in inquiry as part of the healing process from spiritual abuse.

As we prepare to enter 2024, how can we engage in more deliberate and considerate communication with our partners, family, and friends, both in person and online?

Unaddressed anxiety, particularly in relationships affected by violence and trauma, can have severe consequences. Jeremiah draws a parallel between tracking apps and the magical palantírs from "Lord of the Rings," unveiling the deceptive allure of control they offer.

Purity Culture equates marriage with relational success. Jeremiah delves into the importance of communication skills, conflict management, and negotiation strategies for fostering quality relationships.

While "I feel [this] when [this happens]" is often seen as ideal communication, truly successful couples go a step further by taking responsibility for their roles in negative patterns. Join us as we explore setting relationship goals and supporting each other's growth to build stronger connections.