Will Smith, Chris Rock, and the Danger of the Single Narrative
Editors note: The visual media that we consume are sports (mainly Jeremiah), comedies that are at least 5 years old (rarely), and Ted Lasso (and it’s been at least three months since we’ve seen episode 6 of season 2, where we currently are). We are not experts on movies, television, or streaming services, like Netflix or Amazon Prime.
As such, we have not seen the Oscars from Sunday, March 26. We did not, nor are we planning to see Will Smith hit Chris Rock, or Chris Rock make an alopecia “joke”, or the camera turn to Jada Pinkett Smith, or any number of things that happened on the Oscars.
With that said, we are experts on relationships and communication. And it’s been an experience to see the ways that folks are making comments, analyses, and judgments on social media, generally focusing on one of the following:
Violence as a response to insult.
Will Smith’s history with violence as a response to insult, which veers into conversations about domestic violence.
The Black community’s history with violence as a response to insult (aka: the Black community’s response to racism and classism).
The emotional experience for recipients of violence for all people (verbal or physical)
Violence as a form of standing up for another person.
Violence as a form of standing up for another person’s partner (specifically: wife).
The armchair psychology of assuming that Will Smith’s cognitive process was laughter, looking at Jada Pinkett Smith’s reaction, saying some version of “Aww hell no”, and reacting with violence.
Does said partner (specifically: wife) want to be stood up for in that way?
The legal consequences of assault. Subheading: Why the hell is Will Smith not in jail for hitting Chris Rock?
The injustices around the legal consequences of assault. Subheading: If I were to hit Chris Rock, I’d go to jail.
By the way, what constitutes as assault?
The role of comedy in addressing mental and physical health challenges in other people.
(Really 12b): What’s the fine line between comedy that elucidates systemic injustices and comedy that abuses and represses?
Support for the alopecia community.
Memes as a way of processing communication snafus (or drama) that happens in upper classes.
The Black acting community creating a truth and reconciliation committee for Will Smith and Chris Rock.
Did we miss any?
We’ve seen the following process happen on quite a few social media channels. (As we are in our 30s, that typically means Facebook, Instagram, and Twitter links from articles that are posted on said Facebook and Instagram pages.)
Person talks about one of the above 16 topics as “what happened”, either as a form of analysis or an entry into advocating for a topic that’s important to them.
A follower makes a comment about one of the other 15 topics.
Person says either a) It could be that, but it’s really this particular thing; or b) No, it’s not that, it’s this. Oh, and you’re ______ for thinking that’s it’s really about what you think it is.
The conversation either stops, or we get a virtual representation of the Will Smith/Chris Rock conflict, fought through the typed philosophies and digs of said avatars. Sometimes other skirmishes erupt in the process.
The reality is that the Will Smith/Chris Rock controversy touches on all 16 items listed above.
Author Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie reminds us in her brilliant TED Talk of the relational and systemic implications of highlighting a single narrative: one particular story about another person, at the expense of the larger cultural contexts.
As relationship experts, we want to, through our podcast, blogs, and therapeutic work, provide the space to discuss as many different perspectives as possible on the intersections of sexuality and religion, our chosen topic and research interest. Perhaps some of the perspectives resonate with you, while others may not.
But as our podcast grows, we also hope that the exploration of different variables (regional differences, racial/ethnic differences, generational differences, differences in denominations and religions, the impact of sexuality and religion during different parts of the lifespan, to name a few) adds depth, context, and ultimately, richness to the experiences that impact all of our lives: sexual and relational health.
In future experiences where we plebeians utilize social media to explore and assess the lifestyles of the rich and famous, or more importantly, when we engage with the painful behaviors of those in our own inner circles, please take a few minutes to give voice for multiple stories, multiple reasons, and multiple implications and contextual variables for how an interaction went down.
Contrary to what I learned in Evangelical Christianity, where my goal was to convert lost souls, the goal of a conversation is to add richness and learn about those in our communities, not to be right. Each of these 16 items are their own individual, separate conversation. And, you cannot have one conversation without an awareness of the other 15 coinciding, intersecting topics.
May we find spaces in the coming weeks to have interactions that capture the depths and complexity of the multiple stories at play. My guess is that you won’t find these spaces on Facebook, Instagram, or Twitter, but that you may be more likely to have these interactions in live spaces.