Episode #60: Banned Books: When Religion Hurts You, with Laura Anderson (part 1 of 2)
What is religious abuse? Dr. Laura Anderson, in her new book When Religion Hurts You, defines it as:
"The improper use of religious beliefs, teachings, doctrines, and relationships against another person. This might include harassment, humiliation, mind control, psychological abuse, isolation, threats, intimidation, minimizing, denying, blaming, asserting spiritual authority, and making it difficult to leave the religious community."
If you're experienced one or more of the above, our interview with Laura provides some strategies for processing and navigating these experiences. Laura talks with us about:
Addressing Religious Trauma (6:20): Julia says: “The language of religious trauma is still relatively new in our lexicon, both in the field of psychology and in the general public. I’ve often thought what would have been different if I had the language that I have today 15 years ago.”
Downplaying Trauma (13:30): Laura discusses, “I was able to recognize physiological symptoms that my clients were demonstrating things like being triggered, hypervigilant. What I would hear from so many clients is that, ‘I didn’t really go through anything that bad. I wasn’t abused by a clergy member.' They were downplaying trauma."
Blaming the Individual (16:30): Julia says, “If I saw a therapist who took insurance, I am sure that I would most likely receive some sort of diagnostic label of PTSD. What always bothers me about that is that actually my responses are not only normal, but often healthy, necessary response.”
The Non-Banned Books (25:00): Laura talks about the impact of the books she read when she was apart of the Church: “It is all about power and control. Talk about rigidity and roles and having to fragment yourself so that you can be this very specific prototype of a person. Ot’s so prescriptive and so shaming all at the same time.”
Focusing on the Body (30:00): Laura discusses: “When we talk about embodiment like that is living in the fullness of your body. It is that welcoming home to yourself versus the divorce from the self. I think that’s why I focus so much on the body. It feels extremely rebellious as compared to what I grew up in.”
Eating Disorders and EMPish Communities (33:00): Laura discusses her research, her personal life, and the connection between eating disorders and the Church: “When you don’t know how to listen to your body or when you have shut your body down so much that it can't give those signals loud enough for you to listen to then you just continue, in my case starving myself for years afterwards (leaving the church).”
Acknowledging before Healing (40:00): Jeremiah outlines the thought process that must begin before even moving in the territory of healing “I have a body and my body is not connected to anything else other than my body. I can be my own person. Recognizing that you can be your own person--that allows you to move into your relationships in a different way.”
Two-Choice Dilemma (44:30): Jeremiah says “This idea of two choice dilemma that at some point along the way you can’t exist in both worlds. You either have to choose a relationship with your body which acknowledges the body that you have, or you can continue to take a shot at that and to participate in the Church.”
Honoring Grief (48:00): Laura says, “Grief is more of an honoring process to say like, no, this happened, this was important, it matters, and it’s not about dwelling on it or living in the past, but it is about acknowledging the importance of it.”
Demonizing Anger (50:30): Julia says, “Anger and sadness and anxiety within Christian cultures are so demonized. Cast all your anxieties onto the Lord. Be joyful always … those verses serve to once again control who we are, to control our bodies, and even to control our feelings.